


With Regards, Kanjiklub

by Satan In Purple (purple_satan)



Series: Kylux Short Fics/Drabbles [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Bala-Tik is force-sensitive, Because Kylo Likes to Stay in Character, But Treated Somewhat Seriously, Crack, For my Reylux Fam, Hux is still pretty much Hux and is tired of Kylo's shit, I Ship that Horseradish, Jax/Renu Darkeyes is my true OTP, Kylo Ren Being a Little Shit, M/M, Okay j/k I lied but I also Tried, Oral Sex, Roleplay, Smut, Tell That To Kanjiklub, Undercover AU, don't mind me, this is basically just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:11:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7336804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_satan/pseuds/Satan%20In%20Purple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux and Kylo Ren go undercover and interrogate the Leader of the Guavian Death Gang in an Outer Rim bar about a certain droid. Set during TFA before Takodana.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Regards, Kanjiklub

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alania/gifts).



> Please don't take this seriously. I didn't really fact check or make it any more canon compliant than I had to. Also there's a lack of [Bala-Tik fanfic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&work_search%5Bquery%5D=Bala-Tik) out there, according to my friend Alania. You all should really fix that for her <3

\--

 

 _It’s a fine night for a drink,_ Bala-Tik concludes. _Especially when the world is raining bantha shit on you up to your ears because you royally kronged things up._

He’s more men down than he would like to admit, and still out of a fifty-thousand credit loan, which is not going to be easy to explain. Nor will be why the retrieval mission for Solo or the droid went arse-up because of the kriffing rathtars getting loose, massacring almost all of his crew, as well as the incompetent laserbrains he temporarily teamed up with that call themselves Kanjiklub.

Laying his palm flat on the bar, he feels the ripples of energy vibrate around him, bouncing around, as he puts one hand protectively on his blaster. Though he’s never been trained, he’s slightly force sensitive, can feel it in miniscule amounts. But he’s never felt this much of a disturbance before. The power is crackling off in waves now, edging closer by the second and Tik can feel the raw power even before whatever force-sensitive it belongs to is through the door.

And power like that? A person like that could easily hide themselves in the Force. So throwing it around for all to see means some serious hurt is on its way. And it’s probably for him, even though he figured he’d be safe on a backwater planet in a seedy bar, a novel concept now that he thinks about it.

Well, _fark._ It really is a fine night for a drink.

He drinks up his stout before flagging down the bartender and ordering another. “Tasu, to your health, mate,” he mutters, thinking of the former head of Kanjiklub before the rathtars got him. He clinks his glass against his empty, closes his eyes, and waits.

When he opens his eyes, two men are standing on either side of him. Both are tall, and dressed as smugglers, but something is distinctly off about them. And it’s not just the fact that the taller, darker haired man is emanating power in such waves it’s making his head hurt. Nor is it the fact that the only slightly shorter man with bright red hair staring at him with keen pale eyes looks oddly familiar to him for some reason.

“Bad day, Tik?” The one with the red hair asks, waiving off the darker haired man beginning to speak. “I’m Jax, this is... Renu. We have a couple questions for you.”

“' _Lo_ ,” Tik replies, gulping down part of his beer. It looks innocuous enough to not draw attention, the two of them perched on the barstool next to him, matching oily smiles. In reality, the dark haired man, Renu, is only fractionally trying to hide the power coming off of him from the patrons in the bar, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Jax is not much better, a military-grade sniper rifle on his back, a blaster as well as a dangerous looking knife strapped to his hip he could easily gut him with. Unlike Renu he gives the air of a military man, capable and willing to strike him down without negotiating.

“We need to know where the droid you saw with Solo went, and you’re going to help us do that, okay?” Jax says with a vulpine smile, a gentle hand on his forearm, eyes flinty.

Ah, _of course_. They’re not really smugglers, just people trying to get in on the First Order bounty before someone else snatches it up. The irony of it all makes Tik laugh loudly, hysterically even, because he has no fucking clue where that damn BB unit or Solo are after they took off with the hidden ship on the _Erevana_. Even if he wanted to tell this Jax or Renu that information, he can’t.

Which is why he knows he is so incredibly fucked right now.

 

\--

 

“Look," the one named Renu begins, cutting Tik's protests off with a wave of his hand. "I’m going to be honest with you. _I don’t like you_. You’re a liar, a thief, you do business with people I am _not fond of_. I'd like nothing more than to make you and your Guavian Gang burn _._ But I'm on a tight schedule to find that droid. And you were one of the only survivors on the _Erevana_ that I could find.”

“We need someone who has a reasonable idea where they would have gone after that if they were trying to hide from the First Order,” Jax adds, from his other side. “We believe you might know.”

“I don’t know where Solo or that _karking_ droid is,” Tik growls, taking another swig of his stout. “Otherwise I would have gone there to collect my money. So all of your power you’re showing off? Not going to help you one damn bit.”

Renu grabs him by his throat with the force, hissing into his ear. “Perhaps I haven’t made myself clear. You will tell me where they _could_ go, no matter how vague or outrageous. Because the longer we sit here fucking around at this bar, the longer I will torture you after I find out where they went. And I’ll do it by entering your fucking mind and seeing the whole thing for myself because, yeah, _I can do that_.”

Tik gulps audibly, looks at Jax.

“He can,” Jax replies drolly, boredom evident as he picks at his fingernails. “He will.”

“I don’t know!” Tik chokes out a reply, as the pressure on his neck increases. “Pick a goddamn place on a goddam star chart and go there, because that’s going to be about as helpful as what I tell you. Do I look like I hang out with the Resistance regularly?” 

Renu lets go of Tik’s throat, smugly taking a moment to sip at his ale. ““Now, I’d say this is going to only hurt for a second, but I’d be lying to you. And I dislike liars.”

Smiling wolfishly, he rolls up his shirtsleeves.

“Wha-?” Tik jerks his head, staring straight at the other man in confusion. Renu is holding out a hand, pressing his palm to Tik’s head and a buzzing sound begins filling the room, his skin beginning to feel like it's catching fire where Renu touches it.

_Han Solo, the wookie, a BB unit orange and white worth more money than the credits Solo owes them combined. Rathtars loose. Kanjiklub massacred. A girl, brown hair in three buns running, the traitor FN-2187 with her. His men being mowed down as he runs through the maze of halls, only seconds late to the door sliding shut, all of them leaving in --the Millennium Falcon???-- telling the First Order about the droid--_

Renu jolts back to the bar, placing a steadying hand on Jax as Tik screams, his head hitting the bar with a sickening crack. The barman turns around and stares at the three of them.

Jax shrugs innocently. “The man can’t hold his liquor.”

“Let's get back to the shuttle,” Renu looks at Jax, ignoring the bartender completely.  “They’re on a model YT-1300 Corellian freighter called the _Millennium Falcon_.”

“He your friend?” The barman huffs, still glaring at the duo and pointing, Tik slowly sliding off his barstool. Ren sighs and hoists him back up.

Jax shakes his head before finishing his barely touched ale, fishing in his pockets before laying a credit chit on the counter for the barman next to Tik’s unconscious body now slumped on the counter. “Poor bastard’s going to have one hell of a hangover.”

“Aye,” The barman agrees, snatching up the chit as they leave.

 

\--

 

“Dramatic, _Renu._ ” Hux sneers as he scrubs his hand over his cheeks, looking forward to shaving as soon as possible, as they walk back to their shuttle.

He feels disheveled in the worst way possible. His smuggler’s outfit is grimy in ways he would never dress to blend in, even though the shade of his hair does no favors undercover, brighter even still with no product in it. The only consolation is his old sniper rifle strapped to his back, a familiar weight he’s been missing since the _Finalizer._ “You couldn’t just use mind tricks or seduce him, you had to go make a scene in front of everyone. Typical.”

Ren snorts. “Did you know he was force-sensitive? Bala-Tik. Not much, but I could feel it.”

Hux sighs, opens the shuttle for them. “Do you have a point, Ren? Or do you just enjoy telling me the inane things that cross your mind?”

The next thing he knows Ren is crowding into his space in the narrow hallway of the shuttle, until he’s a hair’s breadth away from Hux, having pinned him to the wall.

“I like this, General,” Ren quirks his lips, a large hand running through Hux’s hair now hanging limply over one eye. It’s soft and shines like copper in the lighting of their shuttle. He wants to be able to see Hux like this more often. “You look disheveled, undone.”

“You would _,_ ” Hux spits, as he slaps his hand away. “Get off me, you barbarian.”

Ren obliges with a smirk, and Hux turns his back to him, begins peeling off the layers of his disguise as Jax automatically and with efficiency, folding them and setting them on the table. He can’t wait to get into the fresher in his room, and then back into his normal uniform. He misses his greatcoat, his ship he commands, even his crew, dearly.

“Explain to me why we did this again?” Hux calls over his bare shoulder, as he assumes he’s hearing Ren settle himself in the cockpit of the unmarked shuttle. “I thought you took Supreme Leader’s orders and finding the map to Skywalker seriously. We could have just had someone else gather intel.”

“From who? _Kanjiklub?_ They couldn’t gather us the intel we need if their lives literally depended on it,” Ren calls from down the hall, but Hux can hear his heavy footfalls echoing and getting closer. If Hux didn’t know any better it almost looks as though he’s pouting.

“You didn’t have fun on our little date?”

“Date? Don’t insult me.” Hux snorts. “And as if I’d be so crude to go through Kanjiklub and let them cock things up,” he adds, standing there defiantly in his briefs as he watches Ren begin peeling off clothing as well, biceps flexing as he pulls the too tight shirt over his head.

“Ren, what are you doing?”

“Joining you. Jax and Renu have a very sordid history of relations that must be maintained.”

“Subtle.” Hux rolls his eyes, as Ren pins him to the wall for the second time in five minutes, this time rubbing against him like a horny felinx to prove his point. Of course Ren can’t even give him the peace to use the fresher alone to collect his thoughts into how he’s going to explain to the Supreme Leader this failed, unsanctioned mission and save both of their asses.

“Fine. But next time I get to pick our names and our clever back stories.”

“Why?” There’s a glint of mischief in Ren’s eyes, as he moves in very close, like a predator going in for the kill, stopping just shy of Hux’s throat. The thought should disturb him more than it actually does being at the mercy of this hulking man.

“The names you picked were _moronic_ ,” Hux replies sourly, sighing before he settles his hands on Ren’s waist, unbuttoning the placket of his trousers. "Jax? Renu? Did you even try?"

“You know, you don’t need to be in such a mood. It wasn’t a complete failure. We know they’re going to have to ditch the _Millennium Falcon_ , it’s too high profile of a ship.” Ren’s got a hand behind his neck, playing with the fine hairs of Hux’s military regulation haircut, smiling mischievously.

Hux glares at him, but it’s lacking its normal fire as Ren rolls his hips against his thigh. “I can feel that, you know. Stop ransacking your way through my mind, it’s ruining what precious little good mood I have.”

“I could do things to make you like it,” Ren replies, pressing a messy kiss to his jaw Hux narrowly avoids by moving his head to the side. He still doesn’t understand Ren’s preoccupation with kissing him even after he has relented against his advances. He goes in for another kiss, but this time it lands on Hux’s neck, as he greedily sucks a bruise into the pale flesh and Hux moans.

“Kiss me, _Jax._ ”

“Later, when you learn some manners and stop dragging me across the galaxy for asinine reasons. Unlike you, my title is not a mere formality. I actually have a ship to run.”

“I’ll make it up to you, General.” He says Hux’s rank in such a salacious manner it actually runs a shiver down his spine. “Or would you rather me call you sir?”

A smile twitches its way across Hux’s lips as Ren slides to his knees in front of him, bedroom eyes, his huge hands skating across Hux’s hips as he impatiently tugs the waistband of his briefs down to free Hux’s cock. He slides the black briefs down his pale legs for him to step out of them, as he runs his hands up and down his thighs, before eagerly wrapping a palm around his half-hard cock, cupping his balls with the other. Hux sighs as Ren begins to jerk him off with steady strokes.

“I didn’t even want to go on this trip, _Renu_ ,” he replies as Ren, insatiable as ever changes tactics and takes the tip of his cock in his wet mouth and sucks, cheeks hollowing, then slowly begins to take his entire length.

It takes all of his discipline to not fist his hands in that hair and fuck his throat, but he manages because Ren is doing a wicked thing with his tongue to the vein of his shaft that is making Hux begin to stumble over his words. He forgot how _good_ Ren is at this, pleasing him despite his infuriating demeanor outside the bedroom.

“But I see it may have had its... ah, _benefits_ after all. I’m not completely convinced however it was worth the absence of not just one, but two commanders to carry out.”

Kylo Ren’s mouth leaves his cock with a little pop. He begins to stroke Hux in earnest, a wet fist curled around his now hard, weeping length.

“Tell that to Kanjiklub after I’m done with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> for more crack, rare pair hell and wacky hijinks, follow me on tumblr @ [purple-satan-fic](http://purple-satan-fic.tumblr.com/) !


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